(It's a Universe in Progress)
by Vorpal Quick Blade
Summary: Side stories, AUs, and crack stories from Nephilim Witch.
1. AU: History

**AN:** Merlenyn, my dear beta reader, gave me this idea way back before she became my beta. I _absolutely_ loved the idea, but sadly forgot about it, sorry about that by the way Merlenyn. Anyway, I'm mostly just writing these omakes to get used the writing on my tablet to possibly give writing the next chapter on this a shot (details on the lack of update can be found over on my tumblr under the Nephilim Witch updates hashtag), so I figured that _since_ I wanted to get more used to it before I attempted writing the next chapter anyway, I might as well just use ideas I've gotten for Nephilim Witch that were either simply silly little things we were joking about or things I ended up not using for one reason or another, though do be warned that I won't be doing the background research I do while writing actual chapters (like cross referencing the dates I choose, which will likely be chosen almost, if not entirely, at random, with the only care I'll give to it _here_ being that it vaguely lines up with Nephilim Witch's timeline, which is also the only reason for the dates, to give a vague sense of when these take place), some of the content here that I can no longer use in Nephilim Witch might end up being repurposed for future fics. Part of the reason for deciding to use _this_ as the method of getting used to my tablet was because I was originally going back through the reviews and PMs to compile a document of ideas you guys have given me along with a list of things you guys have pointed out as still needing addressing to have it all in one place without having to go through pages of text, but never you mind that. Though I suppose now would be the best time to bring up any questions you guys have or ideas of things you've been wanting to see in the fic so I can note them down now that I've got an entire document dedicated to those things.

 _Anyway_ , for those omake ideas that came from someone else, I'll be posting the original snippet before each chapter, or the random thought I got as the original prompt, so with that being said-

 **Prompt:** Merlenyn, PMs- "Do you even have any idea when Marzanna might try to tell Kirito? I know you were thinking not until after they're free of the game, but do you think she might try to explain the mythology of Nephilim in the game, just as a basis to build off of when they are free? Like, 'Hey, want to hear some interesting stories/myths/etc I've learned about over the years with my family? Ya know, to kill the time?' she could tell him about those things maybe without referencing herself much at all... maybe"

* * *

November 17th, 2023- 382 days since SAO launch:

Hanna sighs tiredly as she closes her menu, then lets her head fall back against the wall with a thump, "Well, good news is, Argo is not only willing to try and help us, but after I described what happened to her, she's even pretty sure she knows what went wrong with this stupid quest, how we got stuck, **and** how to get us out. She thinks it's entirely because the NPC glitched out and wasn't here for us to talk to and complete the quest. Since we know where the NPC _was_ , and likely still is, all she really has to do is go there, click the NPC, and flag it as glitching so Aincrad's automatic error correction system will resolve whatever the issue is."

Kirito gives her a weary, tired look, "And the bad news?"

She grimaces, "As much as she'd usually be willing to drop anything to get us _un_ stuck, she's meeting with the KOB for some _huge_ deal in five minutes and expects it to take a couple hours at _least_."

He groans, "We've already been here for an hour and a half though."

Hanna shrugs, "Kinda our own fault. If we hadn't wasted that time trying to find a way to fix it ourselves, she probably would've had the time to swing by and help us really quickly."

He sighs, "I know, but at the time it just seemed so silly to ask for help if we could get out of this situation by ourselves, and I just _hate_ waiting."

She gives him an amused look, "Really? I'd have thought that with your propensity for naps and general laziness that you'd have been one of those kinds of people that don't really mind waiting."

He huffs lightly, "That's different. I have absolute control over that. If I get bored I can go do something whenever I feel like. Just knowing that makes it _easy_ to lounge around for hours. As soon as that control, that _choice_ , gets taken from me I become restless and lose pretty much all of my patience."

She hums in understanding, as her gaze drifts around, but there was still little to nothing of interest in the small inn room the NPC they got the quest from had been staying in. It had been a small quest that they'd found in equally small Town they'd wandered into. The quest was a bit vague, something about a supposed convict, one about to be executed for his crimes, that was actually innocent and was forced to flee as they were unable to _prove_ said innocence, but with not much to do at the time, they'd accepted. The quest had two separate paths, one where you could help the corrupt guard that had been the one to originally frame the so called convict, or you could choose to help the man prove his innocence. They had of course chosen to help the man find the proof of what had really happened so he could clear his name, partially because of Kirito's bleeding heart, and it had been kinda interesting despite there being parts of the small little story that distinctly lacked details. Interesting right up till the very end and their current situation popped up that is.

After they'd cleared the man's name, he'd asked them to meet him back at his inn room so he could give them their reward as he didn't have anything on him, having gone back into Town with them and allowing himself to be taken in by the guards once he was satisfied with the gathered evidence. He was _supposed_ to start making his way back to meet them there immediately, the inn being just outside of the town the entire quest took place in and not very far at all. However, rather than leaving as soon as the conversation was over, he'd just kinda stood there in the small town's square. They'd both shrugged it off at the time, as sometimes it took NPCs a minute or two to start moving, and since it was so close they'd gone ahead of him.

That had turned out to be a mistake, as not long after they'd gotten back to his inn room they'd had a rather jarring experience where part of his dialogue had been triggered without him being there, something that though she'd experienced she'd thought was a small glitchy relec of older open world games like Skyrim.

The dialogue had been him saying something about locking the door as the item in question was an old family heirloom and rather valuable, so he therefore didn't want anyone barging in. Of course, without the NPC there they couldn't receive the item or further the conversation, though not for lack of trying when it came to the latter. And of course though they'd tried the door it had popped up a notification saying it _required_ a key, which meant they couldn't even pick the lock even if they actually knew how, not that they did anyway. It was also a windowless room, so that wasn't an option either. The only solace was that the key was undoubtedly in the NPCs inventory, so once Argo got the system to fix it the NPC could easily enter the room and give them whatever the stupid item was.

She sighs again, then gives her fidgeting mate a contemplative look, before quickly making a decision, "Hey…" She waits until he's shifted her focus to her before casually continuing, "We're going to be awhile, and it's gonna be pretty boring, do you wanna, I don't know, hear some of the more interesting myths I've hear over the years with my family or something?"

Interest sparks in his eyes as he partially straightens from his slumped position, "Sure."

She hums, "Let's see… Ah, have you ever heard the term 'Nephilim'?" His brow furrows briefly before he shakes his head. Smiling lightly at him, she continues, "As far as I know, the world Nephilim first appears in the Bible. _It_ called the Nephilim the offspring of the 'Sons of God' and the 'Daughters of Man', and while not hugely popular, because of this most stories -be they in books, movies, or video games- that use the Nephilim hold to this. This is not, however, the version of the myth that I grew up with. The way I've always heard it, the Nephilim were a natural hybrid of Angels and Demons. The Angels have heaven and the Demons have hell, but according to this myth the Nephilim didn't have a realm of their own. They were more than happy to share earth with the humans though, and supposedly their influence is where a lot of other myths originate."

She tilts her head, "For instance, while the Angels accepted that the Nephilim didn't believe they had anything to do with the war between the forces of heaven and hell and made friends with the Nephilim, the Demons had more of a 'if you're not with us then you're against us' mentality and refused to let them live peacefully. Thus Pandora's Box was supposedly actually a weapon created by the Nephilim Queen Pandora, who had been driven mad by the loss of so many of her people, towards the end of their war with the Demons. That's just one mythological artifact that was supposedly a creation of the Nephilim."

Rocking back on her heels she continues, "Zeus' Aegis was supposedly a shield that belonged to one of the Nephilim's rulers, though no one can agree if it belonged to one of their Kings or if it belonged to a Queen, which is apparently why Greek Mythology states it to have belonged to Zeus but was often used by Athena. Excalibur was once nothing more than a standard knight's sword to the Nephilim, it's supposed power nothing to bat an eye at, but between the Demons seizing every weapon of the Nephilim they came across and could use while destroying everything else, and the Angels scrambling to collect everything they could as the Nephilim fell if only to keep it out of Demonic hands, Excalibur is thought to have been one of the rare few that slipped through the cracks."

She tilts her head in thought, "My personal favorite, though certainly not the happiest, version of Excalibur's legend is that the Nephilim Knight it once belonged to was badly injured and attempting to flee a Demonic attack. When the last of his strength was spent, he collapsed near a lake that housed a powerful water spirit, the entity Arthurian legends call the Lady of the Lake, and attempted with little luck to bury his sword, hoping to at the very least keep it from Demonic hands. The water spirit, the Lady of the Lake, taking pity on the dying knight, offered to take his sword and hide it in her lake. Though the knight didn't know the spirit, he chose to trust her, and so gave it to her with the instruction to never let it fall into the hands of someone unworthy. Which is how it ended up in first Merlin, then later Arthur's, hands, though inevitability returning to the Lady of the Lake's hands."

He smiles at her, "I think I prefer that version too. Are there others? These different versions of common legends are interesting. "

She grins, "Well there's Mjölnir, Thor's hammer _it_ was supposedly…"

* * *

"... so though the popular myth is that it was returned to Neferkaptah's tomb or lost, according to the Nephilim versions of events, the Book of Thoth was destroyed to prevent it falling into Demonic hands. At least the _original_ was destroyed, there's supposedly a copy of the text that was gifted to-"

She cuts off, both her and Kirito taken by surprise when the door abruptly swings open, revealing the smiling quest NPC. They get a glimpse of Argo standing in the hallway behind it before the door swings shut. The NPCs dialogue getting triggered again, "Hold on just a moment, let me lock the door. I'm not sure how valuable it will be to adventurers like you, but it's an old family heirloom that others might be tempted to steal. Best to just make sure no one can barge in and find out you have it." After relocking the door, he moves over to the chest at the foot of his bed and rummages through it for a moment, "Let's see here, where did it… Ah! Here it is!"

Standing, he turns with a small wooden box in his hands, "Like I said, this is an old family heirloom, but I figure since I don't have any heirs and wouldn't have survived _to_ have any if it wasn't for you that it's a fitting reward. There's an old family legend that says it's enchanted, but I wouldn't know anything about that sort of thing. Still, it's real gold and sapphire, so it's valuable either way."

Straightening up, she approaches the NPC and takes the box, as soon as she opens it the box disappears and a pop up appears in front of her reading,

'Quest Complete! Items Received:

Necklace of Charisma'

She stares at it blankly, then closes the tab and opens her menu to look the item over. She's entirely unsurprised to see it has nothing more than a bartering buff of ten percent. With a sigh she closes the menu and mumbles a goodbye to the NPC, then leaves the room.

Seeing Argo still waiting in the hallway, she gives her friend a grateful nod, "Thanks a lot for the help Argo. Didn't expect you to hang around after you got the NPC moving though."

Argo shrugs, "Eh, what are friends for? And I figured if the inn was as close by as you said it was in your message it couldn't hurt to follow the NPC and make sure it didn't get stuck again." There's a few beats of silence as they make their way out of the small inn, then Argo gives her a curious look, "Sooo… What'd you guys get from the quest?" She sighs again, and Argo grins lightly, "That bad, huh?"

She shrugs, "With how short and contained the quest was, it would've been a perfectly fine reward, but after being stuck in a tiny room for almost four hours a necklace that buffs bartering by a measly ten percent, something that's only useful when trading with NPCs anyway, does _not_ match up to the hassle."

Argo snorts in amusement, "Rough. At least it wasn't even worse though, like just a bit of Col."

She groans, "Don't even joke like that."

Argo's laughter draws an irritated look from her, but a moment later Kirito tilts his head towards her with a smile, "It wasn't all bad though."

Her irritation bleeds away and she smiles lovingly at him, "No, it wasn't."

Looping her arm through his, and skillfully ignoring Argo's fake gagging noises at them being 'disgustingly lovey-dovey', she smiles faintly. Who knows. Maybe her telling him some of the history of the Nephilim, Angels, and Demons in the form of myths would also ease things later when she inevitably had to tell him the truth, rather than just merely keep him occupied for a couple hours.


	2. Crack: Conversations and Complaints

**AN:** I'm sure this doesn't actually _need_ to be said, but I'll do it anyway. This Omake is _completely_ AU from Nephilim Witch. I mean, if there weren't segments of the fic that directly contradict them, some of these _could_ be taken as canonical for Nephilim Witch, the last chapter for instance could be seen as such if it wasn't for the fact that when Marzanna finally does tell Kirito her heritage he's never heard of the Nephilim, and therefore if it wasn't for that it could be accepted as technically canon for the fic but just a scene that never made it in. This short little thing however, is just silly conversational shenanigans between Merlenyn and I.

 **Prompt:** Merlenyn PMs- "hehehe In another universe, Voldy and Dumbles would sit down to tea and whine like children over how their plaything Mike POTTER, because they refuse to accept his adoption, isn't doing what they want him to do anymore…"

* * *

June 14th, 2024- 587 days since SAO launch:

Dumbledore sat in his office slumped at his desk, grumbling quietly to himself over the largest hitch in his plan in years. Namely young Mike Potter and his recent rebellious refusal to mindlessly go along with his, and to a lesser extent James', plans. Honesty, why did the boy have to grow a brain and independence after so long without them? He'd been perfectly fine and happy being Dumbledore's mindless puppet for more than a decade already!

He quickly straightens up and ceases his undignified grumbling as the floo flares up, repositioning himself to give of his signature 'all knowing grandfather' air before the person coming through sees him in his less than grandiose state.

He smiles benevolently when he sees who's entering his office, and begins pouring the tea that had just appeared on his desk, "Ah, Tom, right on time for tea. Lemon drop?"

Tom glares at him fiercely, angrily growling out, "For the last Merlin damned time old man, it's _**Voldemort!**_ " Then he huffs, "And no, I hate sour things. They make my teeth ache." An unbecoming whine enters his voice as he adds, "I'm already in a bad enough mood because of the Potter spawn, don't make it worse."

He chucks lightly, "Now, now, don't whine, Tom. It's childish. Mike certainly is a handful as of late though. I mean, not idolizing _me_ , of all people."

"Not falling into my traps."

"Not being a good little sheep being prepared for the slaughter."

Tom growls in irritation, "Things used to be so much simpler before that damnable prophecy. We'd fight, we'd draw, I'd massacre and torture, you'd act on intel in an untimely manner, the ministry was _laughably_ incompetent..."

He sighs heavily, "To true, my dear boy, to true. The wheel of time never stops turning, does it? I feel we're becoming obsolete, old enemy. Time is leaving us in the dust."

They both sigh again, before Tom moves on, gazing into his cup and idly swirling his tea, "Hmm. Have you put Severus up to something, old man? I've noticed that he's been acting stranger than usual lately."

He raises his eyebrows, "Yes, I'd noticed the same. I, however, thought it was _you_ who was the cause."

Tom gains a thoughtful look, "Well, it wasn't. And if it was neither of us it begs the question of what exactly the cause _is_."

He brushes it off with a wave of his hand, "It is likely just stress. It can't be easy to pretend to be a double agent to both sides."

Tom narrows his eyes, "Is it though? One might think a _third_ side is sticking its nose into our little war, one that's gained Severus' _actual_ loyalty."

He shakes his head with a sigh, "Oh, Tom. Really. You can be so suspicions sometimes. Who would _dare_ interfere with _**our**_ business? Besides, Severus isn't a man who _has_ loyalties. He's a man that places himself in the good graces of both sides, then sticks to the winner firmly."

Tom hums, "I suppose that _is_ true. That man is a true Slytherin, only ever looking out for himself, and _never_ sticking his neck out for anyone else. Yes, I suppose you must be right, in this case at least." Then he shakes his head, "So, what do you propose we do about Potter's rebellious spawn?"

He leans back with a sigh, "That _is_ the question, isn't it?"


End file.
